A final peak!

This past Thursday, we had our last sonogram! I was so excited to get one last sneak peak. Baby P weighed in at about 6 lbs 1 oz (so the ultrasound says!) and looked great! Best news of all (and main reason we got an extra sonogram) was that he/she was head down - woohoo! I was kind of in a state of panic as to what was going to happen if baby was still breech (and I had thought he/she was a few days before)....so relieved to know he/she flipped their head around. Dr. Cauthen said everything looked great and we have reached the point where the baby is safe to arrive at any time now...but, in case it is a boy, it is best to stay put for another two weeks as little boys sometimes get wimpy white boy syndrome if they come out too early. :) Of course, every day I wake up and have daily end of pregnancy aches and pains, I get afraid that this baby is coming sooner than later....partly b/c we are still not completely ready. Hoping to make more progress this weekend! I am already 2 cm dilated (not that that means anything), so now it is just time to wait and prepare....get the nursery ready, finalize the name, wash some baby clothes and get ready to meet this sweet baby!! I feel like we have made such progress with our family this past month for our newest addition and we are all so excited to meet our final family member! Can't believe how close we really are!!!

It's hard for me to believe that these are my last few days/weeks of being pregnant ever again! (Knock on wood! :)) It is an experience unlike any other and I have tried to enjoy every second of the sweet baby moves and kicks in my belly...crazy to think I will never have that feeling again after this little one is born...it is an amazing feeling! I always enjoyed being pregnant with my first two, but the growing big and tired this go around has been exhausting and so much harder with the older 2 to chase around. It's hard to feel like a great mom when I feel so tired and short with them sometimes - but I really try to give it my all and just suck it up, knowing that I will soon be dividing my time between three little ones and want them all to get the attention they deserve! :)

V-I-C-T-O-R-Y!

I hope this is my last ranting blog for awhile - but, after my last 2 0r 3, I wanted to share that we are celebrating 1 week of a papi-free household. Hallelujah! :) It has definitely been an interesting week - it went a lot more smoothly than I expected, but Rhodes has had to learn how to soothe herself back to sleep on her own and that was hard at first. I was worried at first b/c the first 3-4 nights, we had a little visitor in our room and I was worried we were breaking one habit, but starting another - but, the last 4 nights have been wonderful! (with zero middle of the night visitors!) Knock on wood - but, I feel like we have won a huge battle here and I am soo excited!! We are spending this weekend (in between birthday parties) getting things ready for baby boy/girl Patrick and I can't wait to check some more things off of the list....so much to be thankful for in 2012 and we feel so blessed! Hopefully one of these days I will catch up on my Christmas blogs of my two favorite little girls! Happy MLK weekend!!

Six weeks to go!

It's hard for me to believe that in just six weeks or less, we will be a complete family of 5! Now that we have dealt with our pacifier dilemma and a huge sense of relief has set in - I have started to get really, really excited about what is heading our way! I had been having issues with Rhodes loving being the baby of our family.....(I'd ask her if she thought the baby in my belly was a boy or a girl and she would say "No! I'm the baby!", etc etc!)...and I had mother's guilt worrying about her being sad about losing that position! The last thing I want is for her to ever feel like this baby is taking over her position or for her to get lost in the middle (but, I am a middle child - so we have that special bond!) - and for her to always know how much I adore her....and she was scaring me for awhile there, saying that she didn't want a baby - she was the baby! (but..note to future baby...this was all while we were saying "papis are for babies" to try to get her to get rid of that thing - so we were making things worse and she was clinging to being the baby!) But, I really feel like now both of the girls are SO excited and ready to meet their little brother/sister and it excites me so much! We took a family trip to Babies R Us on Saturday to get a few things on the never ending list - a stroller, nursing accessories, diapers, baby wash, etc. and then to A Room of their Own to look at bedding, etc (in case it's a boy - need to pick it out!!) and it all kind of hit home how close we are.

Last Tuesday, Ryan and I were excited to head to our 33 week appointment to have our last peek at the little bit. We had an ultrasound and saw that the calcium deposits were gone (hooray!!) and the baby looked great! We made it through without finding out and turned our heads when the ultrasound tech went looking below the waist! The ultrasound said the baby weighed about 4 lbs, 9 oz and we were thrilled to have such great news! The only possible problem is that - just my luck - the baby is currently breech! Yikes! Once we got in to the doctor, we discussed everything and she said that there is still time for the baby to move to the normal position, but if he/she doesn't - then one option is for her to move the baby manually from my belly. Ummm....really hoping this baby gets a move on, b/c I do not want to do that! She also mentioned that since this is my third and I have not had any issues in the past with deliveries - that it is possible to deliver the baby breech! Then, she looked at my charts and saw that I have big headed babies, so that idea was nixed. Praying this baby turns soon so we can rest assured that I can deliver normally, once again! ;) Another thing from this appointment is that my doctor KEPT accidentally saying "she" - I have no idea if she knows or not, but Ryan and I both left thinking that she knew and were convinced it is a girl! She kept reassuring us that she was just saying that since we have two girls and she really has no idea, but I just don't know! :) Can't wait to hold our baby girl or boy in less than 6 weeks!!

The first 48 hours...

I can't believe that this is such a big life event that I feel compelled to blog some more about the papi....but it is! I'm sure you all have been on pins and needles waiting for an update as well! :) So, Friday morning, after my breakdown - I took the girls to my mom's house(sans papi) so I could go into the office for a little bit. This was when I broke down the entire way there (my eyes literally hurt all day after this breakdown..it was that bad!) and broke down a little to my mom when I got there. Rhodes saw me (Mother of the year here!) and we tried talking to her and talking about all of the "big girl" things she would get to do b/c we were saying goodbye to the papi. She is her Mama's daughter (and daddy's!) and does not want to see anyone hurt and I think it really got to her. (even though I am not proud of crying in front her - don't like to do that!) The girls stayed there for a few hours and then I took them to lunch at Chick-fil-a and to the bookstore (Barnes and Noble - their favorite!) to buy Rhodes a "Big Girl" gift for her to sleep with. I kept telling her how proud I was of her and implying we were giving up the papi that night - but not going into details for fear it would hit her hard and the meltdowns would begin. We finished our day/night with activities and dinner out and she went to bed that night -for the first time in probably 3 years - papi-less. She had a little bit of a hard time falling asleep (I checked on them at 8 pm and she was officially asleep) and didn't hear another peep from her until she came in our room at 6:30. (Pretty early for this house - but I will take it if that gets us through!) Day 2 was another fun day - took the girls to Catch Air and had a fun family day - unfortunately, there were several mentions of the papi, but I think they were just out of habit when she got tired for her nap (which we have also, unfortunately, skipped for 3 days - not ready to go there!) as the subject dropped before it even started. Last night was a sad night - she went to bed fine (after a few mentions after bedtime) and even looked for it a little bit, but I just tried to ignore/drop the subject before she got worked up and upset. She was so tired at bedtime that she fell right to sleep without it, but I put the monitor in their room and heard her wake up whimpering for it a few times -until, finally, she woke up so sad - bawling - and just missing it. Not crying for it or throwing a fit, but just kind of in mourning of her long lost papi friend. :) She came in my room and I held her tight and she laid down on me and calmed down almost immediately and that was it. I have to say I am SO proud of my littlest princess for how brave and strong she has been throughout this. Personally, I have a slightly addictive personality and I can't imagine how hard it is to give up something cold turkey that you have had every day for at least 3 years....and something that comforted you when you're sad and got you to sleep, etc. I am so so relieved, ecstatic and stress-free now that we have made such progress though - I didn't realize how much it had stressed me out and weighed me down lately and how much happier/loud and talkative/tantrum-free (well, maybe not free, but close!) our house has been the last 2.5 days! :) I know that this is not fully over, but I am so grateful for where we are now, compared to Friday! Rhodes is loving her new role as the "big girl" in our household and we are all feeling more and more excited by the day about our newest family addition coming in less than 6 weeks!!!

Breaking point

I have a list a mile long in my head of "To dos" - including to get on here and blog about our fun Christmas and New Years holiday and our latest ultrasound for our sweet baby! Unfortunately, today will not be the day I check this off my list. Soon, I promise. Today, instead, I have other things on my mind that I have to get off! I have enjoyed having the girls home so much for the past two weeks and am so sad to see the holidays end. Well, sad and extremely happy/ready to get back to our routine, all in one. Monday was Ryan's last holiday day off and I loved updating our dry erase calendar with our January calendar and seeing such an empty calendar - breathing a sigh of relief! We have our architectural plans in for the house and had sub-contractors come by to price the house yesterday so hopefully sometime soon we will know for sure what we will be doing as far as moving/adding on/moving out for a little bit for renovations/etc. I have felt slightly overwhelmed at the thought of our newest addition being here before we know it, tax season being here and the possibility of an add-on - which comes with big decisions such as cabinets, flooring, what we can afford, who will sleep where, will we need to move out, what new furniture do we need to buy immediately so that everyone has a place to sleep/sit/etc. :) Top that with not knowing what this sweet baby is and what we may need if it is a boy or girl, etc - I am surprised that I have actually been more relaxed than I ever thought about all of this. Honestly, the only thing that overwhelms me is the possibility of truly being overwhelmed when everything really gets here (baby #3, tax season officially, renovations in full gear!) and knowing that I can only do so much now (when I have some time) to prepare for these big events! Phew! :) It is all overwhelming, but I think the excitement of it all outweighs the stress in the end - and I can not wait! :) I wouldn't be adding on to the house at this time if I thought it was something we couldn't handle or if it wasn't something I was completely ready and soo excited to do!! I will be sure to update soon once we know for sure what we are doing and a better idea of what the next few months may look like for us! :)

That all being said - I have had one major issue going on in our household that has to be taken care of immediately and that brought me to a full-on breakdown of tears this morning! My 3 1/4 year old and her papi. (pacifier) :) For something that makes life so much easier in the beginning - it has, over the years, become something I despise more than anything else in the world. I know she is too old for it - I know she HAS BEEN too old for it for awhile, but I have been too weak, too afraid of screaming nights (and a devastated little girl that I adore!), but I have finally reached my wit's end. Even though getting up during the night has been something I have been doing for awhile (thanks to pregnancy!) - this past week has been the pits. Every single night, I have had visitors (who always come to my side of the bed with their requests :) - they are Mama's girls...and I am so grateful for that - especially at 3:00 in the morning! :)) either due to nightmares, loss of papis, accidents or just because. Ugh! This is not what I need 6 weeks before I am meeting the newborn stage again! :) We have been talking about the papi fairy and giving the papi to the babies that need them for weeks - but, if anything, I think it has led our littlest princess to be more attached to the thing and has led to awful days filled with screaming, tantrums, and bawling - from the morning (until she gets sidetracked and forgets about it for a little bit) to the car rides and then from about 4-5:00 every afternoon (when she skips nap) - b/c I have tried to only let her have it at bedtime. (so then she wants to go to bed at 4...not happening). It has been all out hell. This morning, it started as soon as she woke up - and again when we got in the car and finally I just broke down and couldn't take it anymore. It is time for a visit from the papi fairy and to officially say goodbye! :) Now, I know this is so silly, but our child is addicted and we are dedicating our weekend to moving on to become an official big girl and I know this weekend going to be tough - but there is no turning back now. I know there are going to be tears - which are so hard for me to hear - and devastation and maybe some sleepless nights - but I am hoping that once we get through this, it will be smooth sailing until we are a family of 5! :) I can't imagine how ridiculous this may sound - but I also can't explain my child's addiction to this thing (it is bad!) and my worry about her feeling sad - so please pray that we make it through this weekend! :) After the week we have had, I am SOO excited for the light at the end of this tunnel and the happiness that lies ahead once this silly thing is gone! :)