Beck Stevens Patrick

Last Saturday, early in the morning, a little man came into this world screaming and stole our hearts forever....There were lots of tears, screaming and cheers of happiness as we found out after 9 long months that this sweet little baby was our family's first son, grandson, brother, and nephew. His mama and daddy were in complete shock and it has taken a few days to get used to using the terms "he", "his", "buddy" (not princess - which was one of the first things I accidentally called him when trying to calm him down - hard to change that habit!), "brother" and "son". The joy we are feeling is so hard to even express - our family is complete with two little girls and one sweet new baby boy and we are so in love!
After baby Beck arrived and we had some time to keep checking on him to make sure it was really a boy...we had a few minutes to try to decide what we were going to call our new son and how we were going to tell our parents at 2 a.m. in the morning. We were debating between a few names - but since we really were convinced it was going to be a girl, we had not completely come to a conclusion on a boys name....deciding between two. We came up with the name Beck two days before after looking at Grandmommy's family tree on ancestry.com (so thankful for her good records to help us decide!) - it is Ryan's great-grandmother's maiden name. (Not after any kind of musician -which we have actually had people ask! ha!) His middle name is a family name of mine - I have always wanted to name a child after my dad and was thrilled that it worked out! We had our parents come in two at a time (grandmothers first - had to follow hospital rules!) and announced their new grandson. Beck immediately had a few more admirers....

After about an hour and a half of sleep (got to love that all of my babies come late in the night - and we don't get to our actual room until about 4 in the morning!)...two of his biggest fans came to the hospital in the morning (thanks to Aunt Ashley!) to find out if they had a new baby brother or sister and were instantly in love!

They both loved holding his hand and think they are his favorite since he always holds their hand when they are near him...
Especially this one.... She is smitten!

This one adores her baby brother too....

But, still likes to be our spunky baby girl and spent most of her time in the hospital hiding in the closet and cracking jokes....no more worries that she may feel like she has lost her place in the middle!

Uncle Sig and Frances, Aunt Ashley and Uncle Ty and Uncle Evan have all been by to meet their new nephew and love on him a little!

In his first few days of life, he has already brought us so much joy and we are looking forward to a world of cars and trucks, baseball and golf, longalls and shortalls and all little boy things! Diaper changes have already taken on a whole new level - but we wouldn't change it for a thing! I am cherishing these first days with my baby boy and so excited about the days, months and years ahead discovering this new world!

IT'S A BOY!!!!

We really can't believe it! We are so shocked, so in love and thrilled beyond words to welcome Beck Stevens Patrick into our lives! He was truly the missing piece of our family and now we feel complete! He was born at 1:38 am on February 18th weighing 7 lbs 10 oz and is 20 inches long. He is just perfect and we just can't get enough of him! Delivery went pretty smoothly - I went from about 0 to 100 in no time and, although painful, I will never forget the moment or Ryan's facial expression as I saw him look at our new baby in shock/amazement and turn to me to announce/yell "It's a boy!!!". We both we screaming with excitement - I am so happy we decided to wait and find out b/c that moment was priceless and we are still in such shock. To tell you a secret (in case you didn't already know!), I really, really wanted a boy and of course I would have been thrilled either way with a healthy baby -but my heart is complete now knowing that Beck is here. So far, in his first 18 hours, he has been such an angel - spent most of the day/night sleeping and taking breaks to eat every once in awhile. He got circumcised today and the nurse came back amazed b/c she said it was the second baby she had ever seen that did not cry during circumcision! We think he is perfect and his sisters do too! Lots more to come on the new man in our lives - but just wanted to share a post of our excitement we are feeling right now! Welcome to this world Beck Stevens Patrick - you are so loved already!

The final hours....

Today has been a fun, but weird day! So surreal knowing that in an hour and a half I will call the hospital to find out if there is room for me to come in and have a baby. I have spent the day with my girls and tried to soak in this time, knowing that our family is in for a big, exciting change in just a few hours! We got our nails done, went out to lunch and just had a fun girls day singing karaoke and playing dress-up. We picked up the girls "big sis" shirts that I had made and they were squealing with excitement - they can not wait to meet their little sister/brother and we all can not wait to find out what our final addition will be! Whenever I sit for a second and start thinking about it, it feels like Christmas! Every once in awhile, though, the nerves kick in and I am a mixture of ecstatic/nervous(about delivery)/anxious/overjoyed/sentimental - all kinds of emotions. Crazy to think that this time tomorrow, we will probably be a family of 5! Wish us luck!!

The date is set!

Ryan and I were thrilled today to go in for our appointment and hear great news! While waiting in the waiting room, we discussed what we thought would happen. We always set our expectations too high only to come out disappointed - so, knowing that our due date is still a week away - we tried to go in with low expectations of when this baby would be getting here. Our guess was next Monday at the earliest. We were pleasantly surprised when we ran into Dr. Cauthen in the hall as soon as we walked back and she said she was going out of town on Sunday and said she needed deliver this baby before then - music to our ears! :) I know our faces just lit up! We went back for the appointment and everything looked great - still making a little progress (but, not much!) and still a chance the baby can make it's mind up and come before then - but Friday night sure would be perfect! I have been worried about figuring out childcare for Ali and Rhodes - and knowing this (and knowing that it is a weekend when grandparents are off work - plus, most are off on next Monday too - how perfect is that?) made me so thrilled! We are supposed to start calling Labor and Delivery Friday night at 5:30 and they can either tell us to come in right away or to just wait around and it could be 2/3 in the morning or even Saturday morning sometime! Who knows - but so glad to know there is an end in sight and we will get to meet our sweet bundle of joy (and find out if it is a boy or girl) in just a few short days no matter what! If anything changes, I will be sure to update!

We are ready!

Tomorrow marks 39 weeks and we are all so excited and ready (well, I am sure I am the one that is the most ready - SO over being pregnant!)! Last week, the stomach bug hit our house and hit me last....I was so disappointed b/c, just my luck, it hit the night before/morning of my 38 week appointment. I had felt like it was Christmas Eve the night before....soo looking forward to my appointment and seeing if there were any updates...only to wake up a few hours later with the bug! Pregnancy hormones took over after I called the doctor and heard I would have to wait until the next week to find out if there were any updates....I had a minor breakdown! :) Truth be told - we had plenty left on our "to do" lists before the baby - so, even though I am slightly tired of being pregnant - I know this little baby will come when it is good and ready! Still one week til our due date and we have our bags packed, our house re-arranged and ready, all the baby essentials purchased (unless it's a boy - it may be wearing the same clothes for awhile...or a little pink! :)), etc. Today, the girls and I went to Build A Bear to build the new baby a present. Of course we came home with two new stuffed animals - a red Hello Kitty doll and a polka dotted bear! I tried to sway the girls to more gender neutral gifts, but these were their favorites! :) They had so much fun, but I am not so convinced that Rhodes knows that we will be giving the doll to the baby and not for her to keep! :)

Tonight, we finished off our day with a trip to Scalini's for their famous pregnancy inducing Eggplant Parmesan! :) It's never worked before, but I figured it was worth a try! :) Plus, being that this is my last pregnancy, I thought it would be fun to enjoy it one more time, guilt-free! I go in tomorrow for a 39 week appointment and am so curious to know if we'll schedule any induction or wait until the due date (the following week) to start talking about one. We shall see!

Valentines Daddy/Daughter Date Night - take 2!

Ryan and the girls had another fun night out last night - this time to the first annual Daddy/Daughter dance at our church! Again, they were giddy with excitement (especially Ali...she loves getting primped and dressed up!) and so was their mama. :) One of my most special childhood memories is going to daddy/daughter dances with my dad - that took place in the same spot - our church's family life hall! I had pictures in my head of the girls taking turns dancing with their daddy and him throwing them up in the air like my dad used to do (and I used to feel sooo cool b/c he was definitely one of the tallest, if not the tallest there). Their version last night was a little different, but it looked like all three had a ball! Most of the pictures Ryan showed me were blurry shots of Rhodes in a conga line surrounded by big girls - and some with Ali, Rhodes and Libby either dancing or in the conga line together! :) Ryan said Rhodes didn't care who she was with - she just jumped right in the conga line! I love it! Their night was complete with corsages, a candy bar, pictures with daddy, El Ranchero with the Holles, and, of course, dancing! (their favorite thing to do!) They all had a ball!

Here are a few pre-dance photos....

Ali saying super cheese! (SO excited!)
Say Cheese - take 2!
Rhodesy posing for the camera!

Love this sweet face!
Sweet sisters ready for the ball!
Silly sisters!
Rhodes took a turn at being cameraman...
Waiting for their prince to arrive!! (he could not get there fast enough for these two!)
He made it! Ready for their big night out!
And a few actions shots....

Conga Line...

Rhodes dancing the night away (she came home bow-less)
Sweet sisters dancing!
Patrick/Holle dance circle!

It's hard to believe....

That I just registered my baby girl for Kindergarten!!! Mamas of little ones - as cliche as it sounds - love these moments, they go by waaay too fast. I feel like I should be the one home with my first baby, not signing this sweet, smiling, light of my life up for Kindergarten! I am so, so excited for her and going to enjoy the excitement for now, before the reality sets in in 6 months and my baby girl takes her next big leap to Kindergarten! (I'm going to be a mess!!) I know this girl is going to do big things and I loved seeing her smiling face today skipping with excitement up to her next big school to get registered! She can't wait to be a West Side Stinger!! :)

Our family of 4...

Just an update with some pictures of our latest Patrick happenings - just our little family of 4 enjoying life!

Rhodes has been taking swimming lessons on Saturday mornings. She likes it a lot better this time around - getting to go in all by herself. I am hoping to keep her in throughout the rest of Winter/Spring, in hopes that we can be spending lots of time at the pool this summer and I can feel a little more comfortable with 3 kids there! :) She is doing great and we are so proud of her!
Ali had Dr. Seuss day at school where they got to dress up like their favorite Dr. Seuss character and parade around the school. Poor Rhodes really wanted to dress up too - but she enjoyed watching her big sis parade around (I almost let her dress silly but it was picture day for her class so luckily I remembered in time!) Ali chose Cindy Lou Who and was so proud of her hair. She told everyone that her mama worked really hard on it! Ha! (I promise I didn't tell her to say that - I guess she could just tell my frustration from under my breath - trying to get her hair to stand straight up was quite the task!)
For some reason January is always quite the birthday party month in our house! We have made our rounds on our weekends and had lots of fun celebrating with fun friends! I found one picture of Rhodes with some of her friends at Lottie's 3rd birthday party - a princess party! It was precious!
These two make my world go round and I have felt so proud of them lately and what big girls they have turned into - I can't tell you how good it feels to catch them in the act of being nice to each other and playing together! They definitely have their moments (and lots of them) of getting on each other's nerves - but, I really feel like they are little best friends these days and nothing makes a mama prouder! :)

Father/Daughter Date Night #1

I get giddy with excitement thinking about moments like these...daddy/daughter date nights. I don't know if it's the memories they bring back of special times with my own dad or the special memories that I know are being made, but I was so excited to sign the girls up for Chick-fil-a's Daddy/Daughter date night. The girls (especially Ali) were so excited about getting ready in their rooms where Daddy could not see them. They had their makeup done, hair curled (well, just Ali - Rhodes was in a hyper mood!), pearls on, and waited in their room for daddy to come "pick them up" for their big date. If only I had a video of the sweet giggles of excitement I was hearing as we heard him approaching their door. Sweet, sweet memories that I hope all three of them treasure always! :)

Can't wait for these three to get back so I can hear about their fun night out! Until then, I have my pjs on (it's 5 pm) and am catching up on some Real Housewives episodes - enjoying these quiet moments that I know will be few and far between (even more than they already are!) in the coming weeks/months/years! ;)

Proud Mama

I don't feel like I have bragged on my big girls enough lately and want to remember these days and their fun little personalities. We've had progress reports lately...

Got a surprise one in the mail from Ali's ballet teacher....
And, we had January conferences for both of the girls and I was so proud of both of my girls....

(Funny thing - Ali only got a "Making progress" in numbers 11-20, but her teacher said she wasn't sure if Ali was just playing a trick on her or actually didn't know them b/c, when asked, she responded "I don't have to know these yet, since we haven't gone over them in class!" Not sure about that attitude (although I doubt it was attitude b/c Ali would never want to upset the teacher, my little pleaser!) - but, when I asked her later, she knew the numbers)
*Ali gets a little nervous during fire and tornado drills - she tends to worry (she is her mama's daughter!) and gets a little bit anxious! Sweet girl! :)

Rhodes also had a great report...her teacher said great things about her and all of the things that were not a perfect A were things I already knew and things her teacher said were completely normal especially for her age....she just had to put that my short attention span child does not 100% love circle time and prefers to sit on her head instead of her bottom, etc. :) Our little family comedian. :) I was so proud of both of my girls after their conferences and hope conferences are always so easy! (but know it will probably not always be that way - can't imagine that many get bad reports in preschool! :))
I have also been so proud of Ali and her eagerness to learn lately. She never ceases to amaze me and sometimes I wish we just had more time at home where I would actually sit down and work with her b/c she wants to learn so badly! Although the transition from no papi has been a great one, one of the only problems we have had is Rhodes coming in our room to sleep most nights. Not exactly a habit I want to start with a newborn coming in a few weeks....so it is something we have been trying to work on. I came in Ali's room the other night and found a note Ali had written to Rhodes to get her to stay in her room and not go to our room....
I realize all of these pictures are not very good, but this one says "No Go E to Mama aod Dada Room" (I was confused at first but she explained that she didn't know how to spell "going", but thought it sounding like it had an E in it, there for the "Go E"). I was pretty proud of my little pre-k girl for her attempt at writing a little sentence all on her own.

Even though I don't have any paper to prove it - I also have been so proud of Rhodes lately. She has been my baby for over 3 years now and I feel like I was not ready for her to grow up. :) After being so brave and giving up the papi (and never really mentioning it afterwards), aside from the getting up in the night and coming in to our bed to go right back to sleep some nights, she has handled it all so well. I feel like she has grown into such a big girl these past few weeks - her room has transitioned into a big girl room (the playroom is now the nursery/playroom :)), she has her own big girl bed, she talks non-stop all day (who knew we were missing out on so much with that silly thing in her mouth) and she loves to make her mama and daddy proud. She is such a genuine sweet girl - just with a little spunk and fun and stinker in her :) - and I am so proud of her for the big girl she has transitioned into these past few weeks. The meltdowns that we were going through right before we gave up the papi are no longer and I think she is going to be a great big sister - just like Ali! I am so proud of my girls and who they are growing to become - and love them so, so much! :)

Excited!

I feel like all I have been blogging about lately is baby P #3 - but, his/her impending arrival is really starting to become real - and I am feeling overcome with excitement of meeting this little one and finding out if we will have a complete family with 3 little girls or 2 little girls and a little boy! It is going to be such a crazy/exciting moment to find out...after all this time!! :) The girls are getting really excited - Ali told me today that she doesn't want it to be a surprise anymore and she was ready to know what it is. I think the fact that we took dinner to two good friends tonight that just had babies (one girl and one boy) did the trick...she is SO excited! I just hope the excitement continues once the baby gets here and reality sets in. :) The past week and a half we have met 3 new January babies that will be baby P's boyfriend/girlfriend and it has gotten me so excited. They have all handled the transition so well and seem to be doing great and it really helps me to feel relaxed, excited and ready for our little one to get here!

This morning, I went in for my 37 week checkup and everything looked great. I am progressing along and Dr. Cauthen got me really excited in realizing that there is always a chance this baby could be here sooner than later - but, hopefully, it will stay put for at least another week. :) I plan to soak up this next week (or weeks) with my two little girls and enjoy our sweet time together. I know we will still get plenty of time once our newest addition, but things will definitely be different and a transition at first! Today, despite that it was February 2nd and Groundhog day, we had temperatures in the high 60s and it was gorgeous outside. I picked the girls up after lunch bunch and we headed to the square for ice cream and playtime on the train. Love my two girls so much and can't wait to see them as new big sisters soon!

A final peak!

This past Thursday, we had our last sonogram! I was so excited to get one last sneak peak. Baby P weighed in at about 6 lbs 1 oz (so the ultrasound says!) and looked great! Best news of all (and main reason we got an extra sonogram) was that he/she was head down - woohoo! I was kind of in a state of panic as to what was going to happen if baby was still breech (and I had thought he/she was a few days before)....so relieved to know he/she flipped their head around. Dr. Cauthen said everything looked great and we have reached the point where the baby is safe to arrive at any time now...but, in case it is a boy, it is best to stay put for another two weeks as little boys sometimes get wimpy white boy syndrome if they come out too early. :) Of course, every day I wake up and have daily end of pregnancy aches and pains, I get afraid that this baby is coming sooner than later....partly b/c we are still not completely ready. Hoping to make more progress this weekend! I am already 2 cm dilated (not that that means anything), so now it is just time to wait and prepare....get the nursery ready, finalize the name, wash some baby clothes and get ready to meet this sweet baby!! I feel like we have made such progress with our family this past month for our newest addition and we are all so excited to meet our final family member! Can't believe how close we really are!!!

It's hard for me to believe that these are my last few days/weeks of being pregnant ever again! (Knock on wood! :)) It is an experience unlike any other and I have tried to enjoy every second of the sweet baby moves and kicks in my belly...crazy to think I will never have that feeling again after this little one is born...it is an amazing feeling! I always enjoyed being pregnant with my first two, but the growing big and tired this go around has been exhausting and so much harder with the older 2 to chase around. It's hard to feel like a great mom when I feel so tired and short with them sometimes - but I really try to give it my all and just suck it up, knowing that I will soon be dividing my time between three little ones and want them all to get the attention they deserve! :)

V-I-C-T-O-R-Y!

I hope this is my last ranting blog for awhile - but, after my last 2 0r 3, I wanted to share that we are celebrating 1 week of a papi-free household. Hallelujah! :) It has definitely been an interesting week - it went a lot more smoothly than I expected, but Rhodes has had to learn how to soothe herself back to sleep on her own and that was hard at first. I was worried at first b/c the first 3-4 nights, we had a little visitor in our room and I was worried we were breaking one habit, but starting another - but, the last 4 nights have been wonderful! (with zero middle of the night visitors!) Knock on wood - but, I feel like we have won a huge battle here and I am soo excited!! We are spending this weekend (in between birthday parties) getting things ready for baby boy/girl Patrick and I can't wait to check some more things off of the list....so much to be thankful for in 2012 and we feel so blessed! Hopefully one of these days I will catch up on my Christmas blogs of my two favorite little girls! Happy MLK weekend!!

Six weeks to go!

It's hard for me to believe that in just six weeks or less, we will be a complete family of 5! Now that we have dealt with our pacifier dilemma and a huge sense of relief has set in - I have started to get really, really excited about what is heading our way! I had been having issues with Rhodes loving being the baby of our family.....(I'd ask her if she thought the baby in my belly was a boy or a girl and she would say "No! I'm the baby!", etc etc!)...and I had mother's guilt worrying about her being sad about losing that position! The last thing I want is for her to ever feel like this baby is taking over her position or for her to get lost in the middle (but, I am a middle child - so we have that special bond!) - and for her to always know how much I adore her....and she was scaring me for awhile there, saying that she didn't want a baby - she was the baby! (but..note to future baby...this was all while we were saying "papis are for babies" to try to get her to get rid of that thing - so we were making things worse and she was clinging to being the baby!) But, I really feel like now both of the girls are SO excited and ready to meet their little brother/sister and it excites me so much! We took a family trip to Babies R Us on Saturday to get a few things on the never ending list - a stroller, nursing accessories, diapers, baby wash, etc. and then to A Room of their Own to look at bedding, etc (in case it's a boy - need to pick it out!!) and it all kind of hit home how close we are.

Last Tuesday, Ryan and I were excited to head to our 33 week appointment to have our last peek at the little bit. We had an ultrasound and saw that the calcium deposits were gone (hooray!!) and the baby looked great! We made it through without finding out and turned our heads when the ultrasound tech went looking below the waist! The ultrasound said the baby weighed about 4 lbs, 9 oz and we were thrilled to have such great news! The only possible problem is that - just my luck - the baby is currently breech! Yikes! Once we got in to the doctor, we discussed everything and she said that there is still time for the baby to move to the normal position, but if he/she doesn't - then one option is for her to move the baby manually from my belly. Ummm....really hoping this baby gets a move on, b/c I do not want to do that! She also mentioned that since this is my third and I have not had any issues in the past with deliveries - that it is possible to deliver the baby breech! Then, she looked at my charts and saw that I have big headed babies, so that idea was nixed. Praying this baby turns soon so we can rest assured that I can deliver normally, once again! ;) Another thing from this appointment is that my doctor KEPT accidentally saying "she" - I have no idea if she knows or not, but Ryan and I both left thinking that she knew and were convinced it is a girl! She kept reassuring us that she was just saying that since we have two girls and she really has no idea, but I just don't know! :) Can't wait to hold our baby girl or boy in less than 6 weeks!!

The first 48 hours...

I can't believe that this is such a big life event that I feel compelled to blog some more about the papi....but it is! I'm sure you all have been on pins and needles waiting for an update as well! :) So, Friday morning, after my breakdown - I took the girls to my mom's house(sans papi) so I could go into the office for a little bit. This was when I broke down the entire way there (my eyes literally hurt all day after this breakdown..it was that bad!) and broke down a little to my mom when I got there. Rhodes saw me (Mother of the year here!) and we tried talking to her and talking about all of the "big girl" things she would get to do b/c we were saying goodbye to the papi. She is her Mama's daughter (and daddy's!) and does not want to see anyone hurt and I think it really got to her. (even though I am not proud of crying in front her - don't like to do that!) The girls stayed there for a few hours and then I took them to lunch at Chick-fil-a and to the bookstore (Barnes and Noble - their favorite!) to buy Rhodes a "Big Girl" gift for her to sleep with. I kept telling her how proud I was of her and implying we were giving up the papi that night - but not going into details for fear it would hit her hard and the meltdowns would begin. We finished our day/night with activities and dinner out and she went to bed that night -for the first time in probably 3 years - papi-less. She had a little bit of a hard time falling asleep (I checked on them at 8 pm and she was officially asleep) and didn't hear another peep from her until she came in our room at 6:30. (Pretty early for this house - but I will take it if that gets us through!) Day 2 was another fun day - took the girls to Catch Air and had a fun family day - unfortunately, there were several mentions of the papi, but I think they were just out of habit when she got tired for her nap (which we have also, unfortunately, skipped for 3 days - not ready to go there!) as the subject dropped before it even started. Last night was a sad night - she went to bed fine (after a few mentions after bedtime) and even looked for it a little bit, but I just tried to ignore/drop the subject before she got worked up and upset. She was so tired at bedtime that she fell right to sleep without it, but I put the monitor in their room and heard her wake up whimpering for it a few times -until, finally, she woke up so sad - bawling - and just missing it. Not crying for it or throwing a fit, but just kind of in mourning of her long lost papi friend. :) She came in my room and I held her tight and she laid down on me and calmed down almost immediately and that was it. I have to say I am SO proud of my littlest princess for how brave and strong she has been throughout this. Personally, I have a slightly addictive personality and I can't imagine how hard it is to give up something cold turkey that you have had every day for at least 3 years....and something that comforted you when you're sad and got you to sleep, etc. I am so so relieved, ecstatic and stress-free now that we have made such progress though - I didn't realize how much it had stressed me out and weighed me down lately and how much happier/loud and talkative/tantrum-free (well, maybe not free, but close!) our house has been the last 2.5 days! :) I know that this is not fully over, but I am so grateful for where we are now, compared to Friday! Rhodes is loving her new role as the "big girl" in our household and we are all feeling more and more excited by the day about our newest family addition coming in less than 6 weeks!!!

Breaking point

I have a list a mile long in my head of "To dos" - including to get on here and blog about our fun Christmas and New Years holiday and our latest ultrasound for our sweet baby! Unfortunately, today will not be the day I check this off my list. Soon, I promise. Today, instead, I have other things on my mind that I have to get off! I have enjoyed having the girls home so much for the past two weeks and am so sad to see the holidays end. Well, sad and extremely happy/ready to get back to our routine, all in one. Monday was Ryan's last holiday day off and I loved updating our dry erase calendar with our January calendar and seeing such an empty calendar - breathing a sigh of relief! We have our architectural plans in for the house and had sub-contractors come by to price the house yesterday so hopefully sometime soon we will know for sure what we will be doing as far as moving/adding on/moving out for a little bit for renovations/etc. I have felt slightly overwhelmed at the thought of our newest addition being here before we know it, tax season being here and the possibility of an add-on - which comes with big decisions such as cabinets, flooring, what we can afford, who will sleep where, will we need to move out, what new furniture do we need to buy immediately so that everyone has a place to sleep/sit/etc. :) Top that with not knowing what this sweet baby is and what we may need if it is a boy or girl, etc - I am surprised that I have actually been more relaxed than I ever thought about all of this. Honestly, the only thing that overwhelms me is the possibility of truly being overwhelmed when everything really gets here (baby #3, tax season officially, renovations in full gear!) and knowing that I can only do so much now (when I have some time) to prepare for these big events! Phew! :) It is all overwhelming, but I think the excitement of it all outweighs the stress in the end - and I can not wait! :) I wouldn't be adding on to the house at this time if I thought it was something we couldn't handle or if it wasn't something I was completely ready and soo excited to do!! I will be sure to update soon once we know for sure what we are doing and a better idea of what the next few months may look like for us! :)

That all being said - I have had one major issue going on in our household that has to be taken care of immediately and that brought me to a full-on breakdown of tears this morning! My 3 1/4 year old and her papi. (pacifier) :) For something that makes life so much easier in the beginning - it has, over the years, become something I despise more than anything else in the world. I know she is too old for it - I know she HAS BEEN too old for it for awhile, but I have been too weak, too afraid of screaming nights (and a devastated little girl that I adore!), but I have finally reached my wit's end. Even though getting up during the night has been something I have been doing for awhile (thanks to pregnancy!) - this past week has been the pits. Every single night, I have had visitors (who always come to my side of the bed with their requests :) - they are Mama's girls...and I am so grateful for that - especially at 3:00 in the morning! :)) either due to nightmares, loss of papis, accidents or just because. Ugh! This is not what I need 6 weeks before I am meeting the newborn stage again! :) We have been talking about the papi fairy and giving the papi to the babies that need them for weeks - but, if anything, I think it has led our littlest princess to be more attached to the thing and has led to awful days filled with screaming, tantrums, and bawling - from the morning (until she gets sidetracked and forgets about it for a little bit) to the car rides and then from about 4-5:00 every afternoon (when she skips nap) - b/c I have tried to only let her have it at bedtime. (so then she wants to go to bed at 4...not happening). It has been all out hell. This morning, it started as soon as she woke up - and again when we got in the car and finally I just broke down and couldn't take it anymore. It is time for a visit from the papi fairy and to officially say goodbye! :) Now, I know this is so silly, but our child is addicted and we are dedicating our weekend to moving on to become an official big girl and I know this weekend going to be tough - but there is no turning back now. I know there are going to be tears - which are so hard for me to hear - and devastation and maybe some sleepless nights - but I am hoping that once we get through this, it will be smooth sailing until we are a family of 5! :) I can't imagine how ridiculous this may sound - but I also can't explain my child's addiction to this thing (it is bad!) and my worry about her feeling sad - so please pray that we make it through this weekend! :) After the week we have had, I am SOO excited for the light at the end of this tunnel and the happiness that lies ahead once this silly thing is gone! :)